I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not, really. I’ve been toying with the idea of a blog for some time now. I’ve travelled to and lived in over a dozen states in the last four years, and many a time I remember thinking, “I should write this down!” and then went on with my life, writing nothing down. Fortunately, the REALLY funny parts are forever cemented in my brain, and will show up later, in my television series, for which I will be awarded several accolades. But for now, I’ve decided that I have too much pent up creative energy, and too many annoyed comments to make. And frankly, the ‘status’ portion on Facebook just does not give me enough room to vent or rant as I see fit. And I can’t bring myself to hop on the Twitter bandwagon…yet. So here we are. Welcome to my blog, bitches.
Another reason why I didn’t start my blog in the past was the fear that no one would read it. Here I would be, pouring my heart out on the screen for a handful of people to read, most of who are blood-related, and the rest only reading it because I would pester them with “Hey, have ya read my latest blog post? Huh? Have ya, have ya, have ya?” Or this thought would creep into my mind: “What a self-important snob you are. Thinking that people are going to give enough of a shit about what you have to say to actually sit down and read a blog? Get over yourself!!” Self-doubt is enough to make anyone back away from the plate. Or at least shrink away from the ball. And neither of those will get you a hit.
So after I told that voice to piss off, I was left with all the swirling thoughts that assault me day after day, with no escape, and new ones always crashing the party. There’s nowhere left for them to go. I’ve tried journaling, and I just can’t seem to be dedicated enough to that. And let’s face it; if you know me at all, you know I will be buried with my ‘Thinks-It’s-Smarter-Than-Me’ phone. So I thought perhaps blogging could be just the ticket out of my mind for some of those random thoughts, rants, and rare pearls of knowledge that surface once every 5 years and then get submerged back into my subconscious by an onslaught of new and obviously WAY more important thoughts.
It’s going to be public, searchable and anyone can read it. Perhaps now the messages that I currently post to sports figures and Hollywood icons will actually be recognized by someone in those arenas. I’m kidding. That’s not going to happen. I’m snarky, over-imaginative, a dreamer, and a little unhinged, but I’m not an idiot.
But I will say, the warning that you had to get past to read this thing is serious. There will be foul language in this blog, I kid you not. I’m not gonna drop any C-bombs on you….I save those for when I’m driving in Pennsylvania and Washington. But there will be strong four-letter words that might offend some of you all of the time or all of you some of the time. Either way, the free country deal works both ways…if it’s that harsh to your virgin eyes and brain, stick to the fluffier, more wholesome blogs. This ain’t it.
Bonus points if anyone can tell me what movie inspired the title for this, my cherry-popping blog entry...
